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From Mensagenda - March 2001
In The Corner
Betsy Ruppert
March's topic is "goodbyes."
Voice Mail Jade
April's topic will be "taxes."
Voice Mail
I was finally able
to eliminate your voice
press three to delete
among my messages
took me a while to grasp
press three to delete
rejected I mourned
your absence in my life
press three to delete
my absence in your heart
accepting I was free
press three to delete
gone
© 2000 Susanne Heimbuch
Jade
for Rebecca
She handled things, my husband says
in a voice touched with wonder,
an awe I don't hear when he speaks
of his favorite topic, advertising,
or comic books, his second favorite. If I
handed her dirty clothes, she gave
them back to me clean. If I was hungry,
she brought me food.
In my mind,
Rebecca is a magician. The clothes
enter her small caramel-colored hands
and transform into a gleaming
pile of antiseptic socks and T-shirts. Behind
columns of steam and roils of mysterious
odors she steps forth to present her hungry son
plates of whimperingly delicious, nutritious dinners.
His memories of her dance in his eyes, wide
and admiring. Her powers to mother him
are certainly magical, her spells on him
not released by growing, by leaving,
by dying.
In my dream,
Rebecca's Chinese face belongs
to the baby I see in my abdomen,
a baby who gawps and blinks. Awake,
I fear I won't see her eyes on our babies,
but only my own looking back. In her room,
I bend over her, whispering, you must visit us
often when we have children. I won't know what to do.
I listen sometimes to hear her low magician's
voice murmuring instructions, and stroke
the jade knots of the necklace she gave me.
I'm confident she'll return. She loved children.
Everyone says so.
Betsy Ruppert-Kan
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