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From Mensagenda - March 2004
Partly Cloudy
by Karen Cyson
Heavy Metal
“We all need a splash of bad taste.
No taste is what I’m against!” —Diana
Vreeland
One of the “joys” of home ownership
is removing the truly tasteless
decor of the previous owner.
Twenty-five years ago I began this
task by redoing the master bedroom. I
knew there was no way I could rest,
much less sleep, in a room with hot
pink shag carpet and walls, red enamel
woodwork, and red shades.
Then it was on to the bathroom
and its less-than-spa-like atmosphere
courtesy of black enamel woodwork,
baby blue hardboard walls, and a
floor covered with 12-inch carpet tiles
— one each of every color available
in 1974.
Following these ordeals, and probably
after OD’ing on E-Z-Strip fumes, I
took about a twenty year break for
that “other” project — motherhood.
The chicks are out of the nest now
and I’m back at it with a vengeance.
(And a serious desire to call the previous
owners and ask, “Just what were
you on when you did this?”)
Next room: the library. The decor,
and I use the term loosely, consisted of
walls covered on the lower half by
heavy black (Goth?) wainscoting and
on the top half by harvest gold shag
carpet (floor to match). How did I live
with that awfulness all those years?
Easy: books. I covered each wall with
bookcases full of books. Surely you
understand that this is no problem for
a Mensan?
But just because it was out of sight
didn’t mean it was out of mind. And so
began the tearing off, the patching, the
priming, and the painting. I worked
my way around the room, moving a
bookcase, removing the ghastly wall
coverings, painting the wall a tasteful
light sage (or, for you male readers:
green), then on to the next space.
Until I got to the windows — two
large double-hung windows — the old
style with counterweights in the wall and
rope pulleys and sash locks. It was obvious
that while I could cover the black
woodwork with paint, not one more coat
of paint could be applied to the locks.
They were encumbered with seven layers
of paint, topped with a layer of black
enamel that had had bits of brass “burnish”
paint applied for the “natural” look.
To go with the “natural” shag, no doubt.
At first I tried chipping off the old
layers. With a brass brush. With a scraper.
With a screw driver and a hammer. I
made a lot of paint chips, probably
leadbased at that, and not a lot of progress.
Better to vacuum up the chips and
move on to another technique. But where
was the vacuum? A top to bottom house
search didn’t turn it up. A trip to the
garage did. Apparently SuperSon had
been sprucing up his vehicle for some
adventure or event. And where was the
brush attachment? Out in the driveway.
And now a pleasant oval shape after having
been run over by SS’s Tahoe no doubt.
It was on to the Kirby store with my
brush and tale of woe. The chips were
finally cleaned up and the stinky paint
removal process began.
Off came: the black enamel from the
’70s, the turquoise ’60s paint, the perfect
pink from the ’50s. These were followed
by wartime gunmetal grey, depressionera
lavender, Roaring ’20s buttercup, and
finally white.
More Zip Strip and some steel wool
and elbow grease later and all the paint
was removed.
Touch-up was done with finer steel
wool and a brass brush until the gleaming
original sash locks were revealed. Black
metal with natural brass burnish marks.
How far I’d come...
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