From Mensagenda - September 2005

Idea Dog

by Idea Dog

What’s the Dalai Lama got that we ain’t got?

Some friends of mine recently sent a picture of themselves meeting the Dalai Lama. In the picture, one friend is grasping his hand and looking right into his face. Others are gathered around, attentive, all focusing on the Dalai Lama. I’m sure my friend will remember that moment for the rest of her life (though I’m sure the Dalai Lama won’t). So what’s all the hoopla over the Dalai Lama?

He’s got a tight schedule that I could never handle. And I acknowledge with deepest respect that he’s a hard-working, hard-traveling diplomat and public personage, tolerant of flash bulbs and enthusiastic strangers who fawn over him in moments that they will never forget (moments that, except as an aggregate, he largely will forget). You and I can’t get inside the Dalai Lama’s head, granted, but I would assume that he’s genuinely promoting the peace and love side of things. We need more people promoting that, and fewer promoting the oil and war side of things. He appears to show an altruism that I know I could never muster, and if you think altruism is worthwhile, that’s admirable.

So overall the D. L. is OK in my book. My criticisms are not of him, but of those who fawn over him. I think people tend to go a bit gaga for public personages in general. Their eyes pop out, their tongues hang down; it’s not the most flattering look. And this seems especially true of those mesmerized by the Dalai Lama.

So what’s he got that we ain’t got? His real name (and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind me telling you this) is Tenzin Gyatso. Like most of us, he started his formal education at age six. Like some of us, he then went on to grad school. Like none of us, he then went on to become the 14th Dalai Lama, which means "Ocean of Wisdom." I don’t know about you, dear reader, but only a rare few of my friends call me that. What he’s got that we ain’t got is a disproportionate amount of public power. When he speaks, people listen. When I speak, well... I’m just flattered that you’ve read this far. It’s readers like you that I like the most.

Here’s the news flash: It turns out that the Dalai Lama puts his robe on two legs at a time, like the rest of us. The answer to the double negative title above is, fundamentally, "nothin’."

The comedian Henny Youngman built such a rhythm with his fast-paced jokes and punch-lines that he once said he imagined that after a while he could merely mutter rhythmically into the microphone and people would howl with laughter at the appropriate moment. Similarly, it seems that the Dalai Lama long ago reached a point where he couldn’t toss out pseudoprofundities fast enough to keep up with the people gobbling them up.

How many truly profound things can one guy come up with? I’ll bet that if a guy named Tenzin Gyatso published a book called "All is Love," or "Here is Now," or "This is It," or "Here it Comes," or "Why not Why?" it would tank down to the bottom of the amazon.com sales ranks. But under the moniker Dalai Lama, titles like these would (as the D. L.’s real books have) soar to the top.

Again, this is not a direct criticism of the D. L., but a critical question I suggest his audience might find eye-opening. I think it’s healthful to similarly demystify religious leaders, rock stars, Hollywood actors, political officials, city council members, military generals, CEOs, Ph.D.s, VIPs, and other demigods. They got nothin’ on us.