| |
|
September Links
General Info
Member Info
|
|  |
Puzzle from April 2002 Mensagenda
Miss Piggy’s Guide to Life
This month I have been re-reading a wonderful book, Miss Piggy’s Guide to Life by Miss Piggy as told to Henry Beard (1981). So as my April offering to you all, I will relate a few tidbits in quiz fashion. Just pick the correct quote from the choices offered. The answers are here.
1. Miss Piggy dedicates her book to:
A. That darling gang of my friends on Sesame Street.
B. Kermit, My Life, My Love, My Frog.
C. Simply Moi.
2. She begins the Introduction to the book:
A. “As I mentioned to Kermie only the other day . . .”
B. “You, the reader, have already shown the obvious good taste of purchasing my book, so you are half-way to the ultimate in tastefulness.”
C. “Call me Moi...”
3. Miss Piggy got the idea to write a book from:
A. Answering an ad on the back of a matchbook that said, “If You Can Write a Check, You Can Write a Book.”
B. “If Ernie and Bert can do it, so can Moi.”
C. Big Bird talking about the Letter B for Book.
4. “Having a dull hairstyle is like”:
A. “Dating Oscar the Grouch.”
B. “Putting an olive on top of a chocolate sundae.”
C. “Walking through mud in high heels.”
5. The first rule of makeup is:
A. Always paint your toenails.
B. Don’t wear a wig that makes you look like there is a poodle on your head.
C. Never use yellow lipstick.
6. As a part of Miss Piggy’s High-Activity Diet, she mentions the following:
A. Eating is listed as using up 12 calories.
B. One should always walk quickly toward the table.
C. One should buy clothes two sizes too large.
7. For that “thin look”:
A. Don’t hang out with Cookie Monster.
B. Buy clothes two sizes too large.
C. Remember that if a cookie is broken, the calories leak out.
8. In her discussion of Manners, Miss Piggy says about eating Chinese food:
A. “You do not sew with a fork, and I see no reason why you should eat with knitting needles.”
B. “Why would anyone want to roll an egg?”
C. “Chinese food is a wonderful way to begin your study of kung fu.”
9. Miss Piggy’s explanation of why she and her favorite frog are not currently planning their wedding:
A. “Kermie and I both agree that right now is not the proper time for our matrimonial nuptualities, my career, you see (the dear understands completely).”
B. “My darling Kermie is soooo bashful.”
C. “Kermie and I are still searching for the perfect wedding dress for Moi.”
10. What, in Miss P’s opinion, should a woman do if a man stands her up on a date?
A. “Stand him up, permanently.”
B. “Serve him a slice of palm quiche.”
C. “If he treats it in an offhand manner, he is obviously the kind of person who is not going to knock himself out for you, and you should do it for him.”
11. What is Miss Piggy’s general rule about restaurants?
A. “The presence of Moi and party will give them their fifth star.”
B. “There are no good French restaurants in states which have a ‘K’ in their names. (New Yorque is the exception which proves the rule.)”
C. “It’s a superior establishment if it serves dessert from a cart.”
12. What does Miss Piggy think about tennis?
A. “I always enjoy discussing love with my Kermie.”
B. “It is NOT the sport for Moi.”
C. “Look out for neck strain, especiallly if watched on wide-screen TV.”
13. Miss Piggy’s attitude about mirrors:
A. “Due to defection, refaction, conflection and infliction, mirrors always make you look larger in the wrong places.”
B. “They might be shunned by some people, but Moi is so lovely, that mirrors are a good thing.”
C. “Avoid them at all costs.”
14. Miss Piggy’s philosophy about green things:
A. “Things that are green are always low in calories.”
B. “Ickkkk.”
C. “The best thing in my life that’s green isn’t money.”
15. How can you tell if you are physically fit?
A. “Can you make and eat a cake in under one hour?”
B. “Can you touch your toes with your purse?”
C. “Can you lift at least five credit cards at one time?”
|
|
